I’ve been told

that there are some people

who don’t reflect

(kind of like vampires)

but the kind I’m talking about

is the thinking variety.

I love to reflect

on my little triumphs

throughout the day, like how so and so

got really emotional,

and challenged me

and brought my competence into question

but how I didn’t react

and simply discussed procedure.

Being boring is an Artform

that I practice

more than I write poetry.

Nobody wants to engage with a boring person—

it doesn’t do anything for their ego.

When my boss wants to take my side, and gossip about my colleagues with me

I calmly pretend that I don’t understand (because gossip doesn’t interest me)

I don’t get emotional and judge her

I just don’t care

99% of the people I work with are women

I used to participate in their conversations with feigned interest

until one of them said, “We turned you into a woman. You are just like us.”

It was then,

that I realized

I couldn’t have anything to do with them.

If a man wants to be superior,

he must act like it.

Women with boring lives

want a reaction.

If a man wants to be a boss,

he must dress like it,

and talk like it (as little as possible).