It takes enormous dissatisfaction

to write a lot of poetry.


I want to ask a fat person

why they are unhappy.


People that go to church too much

look spiritually dead—

that might be the problem with Catholics, Mormons, and Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The men have rosy cheeks and clean-cut haircuts

The women wear dresses and want to get married

They don’t appear to be affected by anything

Worldly women have tattoos and enjoy exposing themselves

They have sinned so much

they appear spiritually sick.

I don’t know which hell is worse.


Dreamers wake up.


stay asleep forever.


I love to watch a violent man

get alone

and write poetry.

His sensitivity makes his violence real.

If he is crowded

he can always profess his faith in Jesus Christ—

it’s the surest way to be left alone.

See… God can be useful in the world, but so can talking about bodily functions.


At work, I act like I’m

a boring

gray-like substance.

My boss says I’m extremely professional.


6 thoughts on “Aphorisms on Being the Best Poet I Can Be

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