I eat when I feel
I have stayed away from McDonalds
Why do people brag about how many years it’s been
since they ate at McDonalds?
One day, I went to Burger King
and got some onion rings.
a great big fat woman
into her mouth, driving her dodge Durango.
I felt sick.
My excuse, for overeating
is my incomplete life, though
I’m motivated to lose weight
to get the attention of the girls (usually, in the summertime)—
this causes more of a headache
than its worth.
It’s nice to be noticed, and strange
that the bigger you are
the more people ignore you.
I don’t know what I’ll do
when women don’t motivate me, anymore.
I’ll probably get married
and we can grow fat together.
Then, we can apply to be on the Dr. Phil Show
I’ll hire a lumberjack to cut us out of our house
with a chainsaw.
2 thoughts on “We Can Get Married and Grow Fat Together”
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Brooks Norrington!