1.

It’s strange to fast for several days

and then eat a whole pizza.

I feel like an alligator

or a spider, swollen with too much blood

like a finger,

smashed in a car door. I don’t need to eat, anymore

like a wolf, who has satisfied his hunger.

2.

There is nothing

so intoxicating

as naked reality.

I prefer nude truths, even if they’re 300 pounds, and walking around in public.

The body isn’t always beautiful, despite what feminists say

We admire health

and hate what’s ugly

You can put clothes and make-up on reality, but it’s still a dog that bites.

3.

If you can’t laugh at your writing, you’re done

and if you can’t laugh at your life, there is no life left to live anymore.

Life isn’t a competition, but people insist it’s a game (the game of life)

If that’s true, we all lose when we die

or we tie

for last place.

Religion suggests

that there can still be winners,

if you’re on the right team.

4.

Strangely, the most satisfying salvation

is when I quit something—

a job, or some function that doesn’t serve me.

Most of the time, though

quitting is worse than death

worse than failure

and to know the difference between salvation and death

is the great mystery.

It gets solved in the bones

usually,

right before they break.

5.

I’ve been embarrassed by a woman

in private

and she did this

because she felt

I embarrassed her

in public

by giving her unwanted attention.

It’s tempting

to commit social suicide

and demand that she apologize

in our social circle

by reading her hateful message to everyone.

Instead, I go to group

and when she sees me

she smirks behind her phone

because she knows

that she has silenced

another man.