is a feeling
that makes a man ill at ease
especially, when he’s been doing the right thing for a long time.
like interacting with dead bodies all day, as a mortician
but there are benefits to working with the dead
they don’t judge you, or speak to you
You don’t have to listen to their insane values or politics
If I’ve done something I’m not proud of, it’s a pleasure to hide-away
this could be due to shame, but the shame passes
like a shit
and it feels good to be alone
for a period of time. In fact, it’s like Demosthenes who couldn’t speak
so he shaved half his head
for fear of what people would think
if he left his small room, as a half-hairless man
and he practiced his speaking skills
until he didn’t stutter.
Any degenerate nervousness
is its own cure
Stay away from people long enough
and you are reborn.
I stop eating for 3 or 4 days
A man needs to know that he can survive on his spirit alone.