He smoked a casual cigarette, like a cool construction worker.

My friend met him in the church parking lot.

I came over, a bit apprehensive.

“This is Charlie,” my friend told me.

I looked at him. He was calm, down to earth, a mountain.

“I’m hoping to meet a young lady,” Charlie said.

He drained his cigarette and blew smoke into the air.

“I’m trying to do the same thing,” I admitted.

Charlie nodded. “I bought a cheap car and I’m going to the gym.”

We talked about clothes and cologne.

“That’s a nice shirt,” Charlie mentioned to my friend.

“Thanks, it’s a Hugo Boss. I’ve been trying to elevate my style.”

On Monday, I found myself following my friend’s sister from store to store in the shopping mall.

“Girls are superficial,” she told me. “They look at a guy and think there must be something going on underneath, if he has a good style.”

I started spending money like a drunken sailor.

“Don’t worry,” the Vietnamese cashier told me, “You get points for this.”

I thought about how much energy and time it takes, just to get the attention of a woman.

It’s madness.

I bought boots, jackets, shirts, belts. Then, my friend suggested…

“You should buy a Corvette.”

I almost lost my mind, but I have strategies to maintain my sanity.

That night, I read Chinese philosophy while eating Chinese takeout to calm myself down.