“How do I meet beautiful women, sir?” I asked him.

“Do something for others, give a gift without asking for anything in return. By the rule of reciprocity, they will help you, any way they can.”

I looked at his bald head. It was shiny. There were three hairs, growing out of nowhere, like an oasis in the desert.

“It seems too good to be true,” I said.

“It will be like the universe is reaching out to you. Before you go into a new social situation, think favorably, about the people you will meet.”

He had a sweater with a stain on it. Ketchup or Mustard? I couldn’t tell.

“Do my thoughts make me more generous?” I asked.

“Yes. Dress well, and give a genuine compliment. Be a leader, and be all that you can be.”

He must’ve spent time in the army.

“Are people superficial?” I asked.

“Yes and No. When you meet someone, find out what you have in common, and say, ‘I like that too—we’re the same, me and you.'”

“That sounds creepy.”

“Oh—it can be, but you must do it, oh-natural. Play up, how long you have known that person. These tricks of influence are a benefit to you, and to them. You are not unethical. You are their friend.”

“Now I know why you’re single. I think Hitler said that.”

“Hitler had a girlfriend.”

4 thoughts on “A Psychologist (With a Horrible Social Life) Tells Me How to Meet Beautiful Women

  1. I like the last two lines; there is indeed a niche for everyone. And a psychologist with a ‘bad’ social life might actually be tired of being such a good mirror to pretty women who don’t notice it happening. He could be waiting for woman who looks in his mirror and then says, “You’re very cunning; now would you like a real conversation?”

    Liked by 1 person

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