I

have achieved

what few writers

ever do.

I

was banned

from submitting my stories

to a small magazine publication

forever.

It’s one thing

to be rejected

with cute

automated emails

and a whole other experience

for a publisher

to say

“We never want to see you again.”

In print, that is…

I don’t care.

Strangely, my experiences with women

parallel

my failed attempts to get published

and the women look at me with hate and disdain

They say vile things about me, without ever getting to know me (Should I admit to this? It isn’t ALL women.)

and they watch how it affects me.

Their words have little effect over me, despite being the nasties grime to ever swirl down a toilet, or plug the kitchen sink

They are too careful, too controlling, too judgmental

Swirling

Too confident

in their ability

to stop a writer from writing.

I write-down what I feel. I spill my guts and purge my soul. I sicken the people who are disgusted by me.

Listen, you anonymous publishers of the world—the greatest writers were banned

the strongest men, lived without women (Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Bukowski claimed he was too weak NOT to live with women, but if he had the strength to be totally alone, that would’ve been his decision.)

Most Men

of ambition

face

continuous rejection

and they

go to the bottle, or the needle

to take away their pain.

Words

are my antidote

for the poison

of the world,

and I have no desire

to make myself weaker

on its behalf.

When a man ingests enough

vitriol

and faces enough

stone

and doesn’t become the poison

or the physiognomy

that cannot smile

He becomes immune

to the feminine freak-out.

Power

is not the surrender

to the crowd.

Power

is found

in the words we breathe

on the mountain

so far away from society.

Are bureaucrats powerful,

when their positions

are axed,

when the permission they were given

is taken away?

Are publishers powerful

when they bitch

about an anonymous writer

who wrote

distasteful words?

We all have a palate, and let me be Frank (Because I like that name)

some of the most insensitive sayings

gave me strength

when I couldn’t find them

between the pages of

Danielle Steel or Nora Roberts.

Men like me, will always be

looking for

words

that cause them

to feel strong

in a world that wants to make them weak.

And yes, I did read Nora Roberts and Danielle Steel

because I wanted to understand a woman’s heart.

A philosopher speaks

to one or two

because

many

don’t want to listen to

him.

I’m okay with that,

and I’m also okay with pissing-off small magazine publishers—

it gives me something to do.

Take away what I have

and I have

what I need.

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26 thoughts on “Banned, for the First Time”

  2. Dang! Well jack that noise. VanGogh, Poe, etc. all know how that goes. I am glad you understand that the world’s adoration or rejection means little in the big scheme of it all. I know it still stings though. Nora Roberts and Danielle Steel? I never got that. C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, Tom Robbins, Clive Barker are definitely 👍 for me. In a broken world full of broken people, our relationships as man and woman are broken too. They won’t always be though.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  4. I was rejected by a magazine because my story MIGHT be considered insensitive to Native Americans…and the damn story took place during The Dust Bowl! 🙄 They loved my story, though.
    And though I’m a woman, I’m not into Danielle Steel or Nora Roberts. Give me a good sci-fi story, and I’m happy.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. What did you put on there that could be insensitive?

      Also, I find that interesting how a lot of companies do that and contribute to the lack of Native American representation. Hmm.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. A boy whose father—who happened to be part Native American—perished in a dust storm, and the boy pondered about it maybe being better to go to “The Happy Hunting Grounds” than live a life of deprivation as his family was doing during the Dust Bowl era. They said it could imply that I thought Native Americans would be better off dead. Crazy! It was just a story, and I tried to tell it in a way that was appropriate for the time.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’m not Native so I can’t say much, but it doesn’t sound probably and it sounds realistic enough. They sound like they didn’t want you to represent Native Americans. Suspicious.

        Liked by 2 people

      9. Probably something else because many feminists use that in their stories to show power complex between weak and strong or so on. However, they might of thought you sounded too profeminist for who you were and could’ve gotten rid of yours to make the word seem backwards or heck, they could’ve thought you were being insensitive. That’s the thing about lack of communication. You never know. 🤷🏾

        Liked by 1 person

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