If the ground isn’t shaking, I don’t go running out of the building, I guess.

I missed the last Earthquake Drill.

It was District-Wide.

They were calling my name on the radio—in a panic.

It was like I was backing-up traffic for miles.

Nobody could go anywhere, until they found me.

What’s worse is—that I was at home,

backed-up, on the pot.

I got a text

from my boss,

asking me where I was, and I called her

and told her, I was on the pot.

“Meet with me for disciplinary action,” she said.

When I got to central office, she was tense.

She didn’t know what I might say.

“You are stealing from the taxpayers,” she said.

“Oh—I didn’t mean to. I just ate some jalapeño chips that disagreed with me.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“I know—I tried to wash them down with ice-cream, but I think that made it worse.”

“That’s not what I mean! Do you think this is funny, or something?”

“No,” I said.

Most recently, they had another earthquake drill,

and I was on the toilet, again.

I didn’t hear the intercom.

Everybody remembered

what happened to me three years ago

so maybe

this will be how they remember me

when I’m gone.

What’s strange is,

I don’t like to bring attention to myself,

but in this instance, I did.

When the ground isn’t shaking,

I shake everybody

to their core,

by not following the rules.

The thing is—I’m a rule follower,

even though, I pretend not to be.

These hiccups, might be a subconscious rebellion

shaking me

to the core.