It’s normal to doubt what you’re doing

day in

and day out

because

squeezing a lemon

should have more zest. I mean, I try oranges

and they’re sweeter and less sour, but they can be really bitter, at times.

Watching people work at their jobs, reminds me of working at mine.

It’s only, they have to do it on the weekends, and that doesn’t seem right,

but if they took the day off, I wouldn’t be able to buy my clothes.

I only have two pairs to wear to work.

Shopping is hell—and women love to do it. This should tell us something about the female.

My mother had the decency to leave me home

when I was young, and I spent time inside my little mind

and now, not much has changed.

Dandies (like my friend) have a natural talent for looking good, dressing well—but I just do my best, hell—I can’t be good at everything.

The years will steal your hope, if you don’t have a code to live by. Friends will steal from you, if you don’t enjoy their company.

I visited my 95-year-old aunt, while she was watching TV.

“Has anything happened to you, recently?” My mother asked her, hopefully.

She wanted my aunt to tell the story of being visited by Satan (for my benefit), but instead, she said, “I think I pooped my pants. Do you smell anything?”

“No.”

“Sometimes, you think something is real in your dreams, but it’s different in reality,” my aunt said soberly.

I was hoping she was out-of-her-mind today, but no luck.

When I get to be 95 and infirmed—I want a mechanical typewriter and a bunch of crisp paper. I’ll make that machine sing like a soprano past her prime, all night long, so the caregivers know, there is somebody crazy, getting something done.

I spent the day, unwisely, driving around, looking for clothes.

“Your truck looks like it belongs to a homeless person,” my mother said. “Why don’t you clean it?”

I was feeling depressed, despite having a good time, but my mother wasn’t affected by my negative mood. She found it entertaining.

After waiting for my iced coffee, she commented on my demeanor.

“You look grumpy,” she said, “like, bring my coffee now!”

“It’s nice not to have to hide my feelings,” I said.

I noticed that she was a ray of sunshine, giving warmth to all the depressed people in the world.

My mother would brighten-up their day, by saying something positive, like

“Do you have the night off?” She asked a security guard.

“Yeah,” he said. “Have a nice evening.” He smiled.

I watched him stare at the Victoria’s Secret Supermodels and then go outside and light a cigarette.

At the end of the day, he was looking forward to that.

I couldn’t wait to go home and write this down.

4 thoughts on “Unusual Weekend

  1. Don’t put all women in one shopping cart. I despise shopping, I hate it with a passion. The idea of entering a crowded store (or any store) and waiting in line is my version hell. I don’t even like going food shopping. I hate dealing with the pubic and leave that to my husband who tolerates it better than me and knows we have to eat so he does it. I will, however, gladly spend hour after hour doing all my shopping on line – household items, toiletries, makeup, nail polish, greeting cards, birthday gifts, Christmas presents, clothes – you name it – all bought from the comfort of my recliner. I don’t have to leave the house. Everything is delivered to my front door. Hell, some even comes wrapped and I earn bonus points to get free stuff. And if something needs to be returned, my husband even does that for me! What could be better?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was standing in line at Macy’s and somebody said the exact same thing. I see the perks of online shopping. In line, however, we discussed the inconvenience of not being able to try clothes on over the internet. Maybe, they will virtually be able to make you feel tight in the butt. But, I don’t think they have figured out how to do this yet. If someone had the technology, they could make millions! Thanks for your thoughts Nancy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, since you asked and I am an online shopping expert, there are several online shops that allow you to virtually try on the apparel. While it may not be a perfect fit, it’s a def help. What I normally do if I’m really not sure about the size is order two different sizes; one’s gotta fit. Returns are free so it’s no big deal, especially since my mister will go to UPS for me. Believe me; I’ve been doing this a very long time. 🛍

        Liked by 1 person

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