I try to trim the fat off my body
with protein shakes
Women want a hard body
and they won’t look at a flabby one
Trust me, I know.
I’ve been at the pinnacle of performance
and into the depths of anonymity.
It feels great to have the sun on my shoulders
playing golf and going for bike rides
in the summertime
to be the bronze man
to be desired by women, and respected by men—
that takes work, among, all the other jobs I have to do.
Teenagers have a metabolism, and nothing but time
while I have a limited window
to make myself look like a limited edition show-piece.
I have never been obese
but I have flirted with the idea,
and I don’t want to be huge.
Basically, I’m doing this for myself
because it feels good, to look good
to be lighter, like a feather-weight fighter.
Even in my peak physical condition
I contemplate the absurdity—spending countless hours each day
doing repetitive movements
lifting tons of weight, with no purpose, but to tear my muscles
and burn fat. Doing all that work, for no pay. If people were paid to do it, they would quit,
but it’s a teenage satisfaction, most adults don’t know
because they won’t walk anywhere
or go to the gym.
when all I wanted to do was to get a 6-pack and big biceps
and I did
I took those guns for granted
and that washboard, was never used to wash clothes.
My favorite history professor described physical exercise and dieting
as the mortification of the flesh. He was over 300 pounds.
There’s a movie I like to watch
where the warden has gotten fat, during his comfortable career
and Kirk Douglas is a 70-year-old inmate
full of life and fit.
He gets out of prison and hooks up with a 30-year-old woman in spandex.
You can be free,
but if you don’t have the body
it doesn’t feel half as good.
It’s no joke:
you are your body
treat it like a temple
and sacrifice your flesh
to the gods of pain
Your brain will work better
Your body will live forever
Women will want you more than ever
You are Atlas,
unwilling to shrug—unless
it’s 30 reps, with 45 pounds in each hand.