One of my worst fears

is becoming senile, helpless

unable to wipe my own ass. Hopefully,

there are many years,

before my fears

become real. My aunt has a caregiver

who forgets to turn on her oxygen

who gives sponge-baths

and never showers. It’s unnatural

to take care of a human being, I guess.

By the time I reach old age

I hope I die quickly.

There should be a clause, on my personal contract that says

do not resuscitate

If brain aware, paralyzed, euthanize.

My teenage nurse, without any boobs, might say…

“But what about all of those baseball games you might watch, and Jell-O, and bingo, and stimulating conversations from ex-careerists who talk constantly about themselves…—and don’t forget the religious channels on the TV?”

“No thank you. I just want to die. I’ll look at the butterflies, until the pillow.”

In this life, you are too young, until, you are too old.

The only relief before death, is to find your destiny, and do it. Once that is done, you are done.

What I’m going to do, is find a cabin in the mountains, near a big blue lake, and enjoy the spirits that speak to me, whether that be alcohol or Thoreau.

I know there are people who want to be with other people,

but I think, hell is other people. 

I feel like a god when I am alone.

Maybe heaven, is empty space.

Give me three days of solitude, and I will rise again.

People can’t make it on their own. They feel alone. They get married, have families, and hate their relatives. Just think how many things they have to do, that they don’t want to do.

“Hi Grandma—what did you do today?”

“I watched my show. I’m looking forward to bingo.”

Maybe it’s just me, but I have trouble relating to society. People get angry at the stupidest things (traffic and the news), but when it comes down to wasting their lives, they don’t realize they are doing it.

They want a career, a car, a house, a husband. They have no imagination. They go to movies, that have been redone. There is nothing fresh.

Being young is the only religion—not because you can enjoy life, but because, you can escape from it, for awhile

until you are that drooling man

or pee-soaked woman.

I don’t want to die for other people, but I do want to die, before those people have to take care of me.