A river of black espresso

drips off my bed. I have been waiting

for a long time…

drip

drip

rhymes, won’t get it done

crying, those caffeine tears

into my pillow.

I can’t sleep.

This neighborhood, isn’t bad

even though

magic

might be found

behind the mountains.

Mortgage interest rates increase

The Economy goes bad

A smart man would do something

but I don’t want to evolve.

I’m a stubborn fish

that won’t

walk

for fear of being a fish out-of-water.

My pond gets polluted

the algae die

the water becomes salty

it begins

to dry

I might die

slowly,

in my environment

I don’t want to escape

institutionalized

Writing

for some imaginary hope.

My friend is trying to make life work-out for him

while he, works-out

in the gym, with perfect body

at last

and

30-something women with tattoos

staring at his muscles

with lust

but he is too pure

His plan is too perfect

a 23-year-old girl

a cushy tech job for the government

a reunion with family

a real estate empire.

He has been trying and failing for a year

I am one with the Tao—I don’t believe in trying

Somehow, I see the people with their big houses

large salaries, five kids, short vacations

to Barbados

and lifestyles

that all seem stressful.

Nobody is staring at me

My favorite things are free

good books

good company

and no dirty looks.

If you have to wade through the swamp

to get to green fields,

I don’t know… It might be worth it

But there is always another swamp

to wade through.

Most people are swamp people

They spend half of their time in the swamp

to get to where they want to be.

What if, there is no place to be?

To be?

or not to be?

No time to be, anything.

We are chasing the wind

unable to appreciate

where we are.

Ambition, is the slave-driver of humanity

We drive ourselves

insane

on the road

to endless destinations.

As for me, there is nothing more satisfying

than a good story.

My character

is not where I’m going

it’s who I want to be.

17 thoughts on “Who I Want to Be?

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