I am ready for hot
where I hunt
I can’t find.
I have wrestled with wanting to be liked
my whole life
it suits a human need, that I want to put on
but when I do, I find
it doesn’t fit me
because I have walked around naked
in the hot twilight
for far too long.
What people don’t realize, is that acceptance
one of them, and I have flirted with
total acceptance, and settled on
a sliver of respectability
like a painful wound.
It might be easier, just to be cut wide-open.
If people think you are one of them, they accept you
but as you say
who they believe you to be, who they need you to be
they disregard you,
because they can’t listen.
This is mostly true, for women
but it also applies to organizations
with female values
Public Education, comes to mind.
There is a dark side
of the moon
a harsh mistress
that cuts people off—like a crescent
especially those, who don’t yield to her gravity
Many men are ships, without a motor
sails, without wind
caught, in her regular tides.
I am a submarine
that goes down, into the depths
where the stillness
keeps me safe.
I have been blessed with good looks
a good mind
but when I say
the things that come out of my mouth, they turn away.
It’s not their fault
Women must feel secure in society
it’s one of the reasons why
and brave philosophies
seldom come from women.
All of their marches and slogans are done
to secure a stronger position in society
a woman’s right to have
but they don’t want to parachute over Normandy
in the dead of night
where they will most likely become dead.
Women seek spirituality, to feel better about themselves
to feel connected to each other
and when a woman bullies
She tries to render a man or woman
Her power comes from the group.
I have always been attracted to people like me
it’s a narcissistic quality
the superior, without position, without acceptance (so interesting…)
I like to talk to homeless bums
to the men who don’t go to church
Many people are living their whole lives to be approved of—
it’s necessary, in a society
but I have always loved the freedom of being me
People will be attracted to you
like a circus freak
and then they will
as someone seeking attention.
I have spent so much time, on the outside
not wanting the light,
because I am chronically misunderstood
when I am heard and seen.
to be listened to
is a neediness
I have been trying to kill
with my own poisonous words
for some time.
One of the pleasures of writing stories
is that it forces me
to pay attention to people,
and when they say false things, they become false
and when they speak the truth, they become true
what a rare thing.