No. No. I really like you.

I’m just a little F—ed Up right now.

What’s that? You don’t care. You say, you needed me?

I know you did, but I couldn’t be there. I was just a little F—ed up, don’t you see?

You do, and you don’t care.

I wish I had brought you sunflowers

that you could’ve draped in your hair

I wish I was someone strong

that could hug you and keep you warm

like a teddy bear—

but I’m just your F—ed up dad. I wanted to—don’t you see?

I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t tell you how I really felt.

I wish we could’ve lived on air—just the two of us

watching the sunsets melt

like ice cream Sundays on fire

but I was somewhere else

in a dank car, waiting for a deal to go down

or somewhere scared

afraid of who I was, and most of all

who I wasn’t.

I wasn’t myself, don’t you see?

You don’t.

Baby, is there anything I can do now?

What? You want me to leave?

But I’ve been doing that your whole life. I’m here now.

It wasn’t me, who left you alone, all those years

I swear.

These are the words I hope I never have to say….


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