is about Targets
is about something else
I watched a dad and his son on the golf course today.
“You took a big divot—go ahead and put it back,” the dad said.
The shot went nowhere.
On the next hole, was me, forecasting what would happen, perfectly
I can see a loser, from a mile away
I can see myself, driven mad with hunger
trying to figure-out, what I should do about it
before I starve to death.
Recently, I indulged my appetite with junk food
because that’s all there was
which leads to a spiritual death
that keeps me alive, but never allows me to feel full.
Ambition, can make me insane with desire
until I think I am better than I actually am
and I want something
that isn’t even close
to what the work is.
There was no ambition shared between father and son, just bonding
and the catch-all phrase, “You’ll get it the next time.”
It could be that I spent the last two days thinking about things
that have nothing to do with reality.
I watched a particularly annoying coworker, walk down the street with her daughter today.
What she wants, is simple, and she gets it—
advancement, her husband, her daughter, and an explanation for her existence.
but they’re not the only thing
and most people never find it—
If they do, they give up
somebody else wants:
a house, a job, a relationship.
Maybe, we don’t have to choose
but the longer I go without it
the more clearly, I realize
If I choose it
over and over again
I wait to see if it becomes my friend
loyalty, doesn’t matter, to the thing
unless it chooses me.
that the sun
smiles on me.
At this time in my life
I am willing to burn ships
before the sun sets
and when it does
I will be alone
in the dark
before I go to sleep
and I ask that last question:
Was it worth it?