It isn’t worth it
just to have something to write down
I don’t go out of my way
to experience painful people
They always find me
and their energy drain
is real
like a bathtub
of draino
their acidic talk, eats away at me.
I didn’t realize they had taken something from me
until it was too late
like a woman
raped at night
by an incubus.
I went to my parent’s house
to walk it off
and talk
but no matter what I said, I couldn’t feel better
and the sun was shining, while I spoke to my mother
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to amount to anything as a writer,” I said.
“Oh—look, aren’t the flowers beautiful?”
“Mom—are you even listening to me? You interrupted me, mid-sentence.”
“I didn’t hear what you said—you’re walking in front of me.”
“Well—why am I even talking to you then? I might as well be talking to myself.”
“I know…” She laughed.
I laughed.
We were in two different places
at the same time.
When we went inside, my dad was making me a steak. “Do you want a whole one?” He asked.
“Sure,” I said, but when I told him so, I wasn’t connected to my stomach
I was feeling sick
and tired.
“You know what… I think I’m just going to go home and lie down.”
“You’ve had a difficult week,” my mom said.
I got into my truck and thought about drinking…
I know why people do it.
Thankfully, I seldom feel this way.
Intellectual Shaman 
I have felt the same at times but since I live alone I wouldn’t take the chance. I have an addictive personality. I have been reading some TJ Klune and you remind me of how the latest protagonist feels
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Good to see you in the comments, rugby!!! I’ll have to check-out TJ Klune!!!
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I’ve read four books from him so far. The last one was depressing bringing my own mourning back to the surface so I’m taking a break and going back to the Boboverse by Dennis Taylor. Scifi
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Also. If you haven’t read Klune before I would recommend The House in the Cerulean Sea for a first. Maybe you’ll fall in love with it like I did☺️
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Cool! I’ll order it from the library!
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I listened to it as an audiobook and the narrator was excellent.
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I think I will check it out as well.
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this is awesome, such a unique way to present a feeling we can all relate to, that actually took some of the sting out of it (thanks for that!!)
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Thanks for reading melissa!!! 🙂
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Well, it would take a truly unpleasant person never to experience such feelings, so take comfort in those feelings when they happen, whilst remaining thankful for their rarity.
They affirm your humanity. Even if it does not feel that way.
But humanity does not require constant affirmation.
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Yes, I try to accept all of my moods and write, regardless. Sometimes, it’s ugly–but I believe writing should be honest. We should record more than what’s beautiful.
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The frustration of being unable to connect. Though there was enough connection to sense something was off.
Interesting juxtaposition.
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Thanks Jasper! 🙂
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I felt what you said,when you said,I know why people drink.I don’t drink,but moments come that make me say out loud,”now I know why people drink” lol.
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Yes–too true! I don’t drink either! 🙂
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This is so true. And strangest of all is once people reveal how toxic they are why do we keep them in our lives.
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Thanks for reading girlieboy69!
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