What they won’t tell you in high school
is that life is full of disappointments
If you don’t believe me
ask the unpublished writer.
We are only talking about the little ones right now
but the big ones of betrayal, or
total disbelief at the way the world works
baffle a man,
until he finds something small to live for
like the bottle
or the last few hours he has to himself, at the end of the day.
We are all waiting until that moment when we aren’t anymore
The good artist repeats himself
because he doesn’t have anything new to say
because spontaneity and gamble
are filled with safe routines.
It’s not so much that the writer is afraid
it’s just that, many writers can be lazy—they live inside carefully constructed worlds of words
that don’t really mean anything
to anybody.
And wait, if you are getting depressed, reading this poem, I am only getting started
It seems to me, life is essentially random
and the worst types of humanity rise to the surface of the swamp
to eat unsuspecting tourists
their teeth and toenails claw the child
I look on death as a blessing for me, as I am shepherded out of my misery
and blessed are many, who think they are getting ahead, when the end is near
I don’t blame them for trying
there is the faithful husband, with the happy family
and there are the darker elements of society
gold earrings, and crimson makeup—endless tanning, and sparkling blue eyes, with big, everything
green Lamborghinis, and go-fast boats
helicopters, and scotch with no water
scuba diving, and beautiful strippers who aren’t very smart
the oppressive elements who kill gangsters and protect you
girls can’t take their eyes off of you
they claw at your flesh because you are the man
there is a reality, buried deep inside him, and he claws for it
like cursed gold,
but it’s not in him
he isn’t a billionaire
just a lazy ass, with a big imagination
not smart enough, tough enough, or able to get it in gear
Even with the self-help gods
and changes that come with healthy habits,
he gets a bit fitter
but ultimately, he’s a quitter
bitter
because none of his work
takes him where he wants to go.
“Unrealistic Expectations” People say
“Be happy with what you got”
He knows why men throw themselves out of windows
like during the crash of 29
When the attention of beautiful women is gone
when the champaign runs out
when the endless parties stop
when there is nothing
Death, is the first word that enters his mind
the second
is God
Dying to the world, feels so wrong
because he has possessed it
for so long
Time is running out
Pretty soon, he’ll be old
with no lead in his pencil
and nothing to write down.