My friend has been trying to increase his testosterone

by eating oysters and Brazil nuts

He works out, with his roommate

They keep each other accountable, so they don’t touch themselves

It’s amazing what a man will do to attract a woman,

especially a desperate man

who has always been desperate—and then, that desperation increases with age.

I have never been desperate.

I have pretended to be—because misery loves company

but locking down a woman

was never my thing.

Women bring their own problems—a lifetime of problems a man can’t possibly understand.

I figure, if a man can’t solve his own math problem, why introduce Calculus?

Who has solved the Woman?

I haven’t looked it up, but I may have a fear of the female.

Whoever said the female is oppressed, doesn’t know the power of the female.

It’s hidden.

It pretends not to be there, but it molds the man like clay. Pretty soon, he can’t say anything against her

without risking his job, reputation, or life.

She never attacks him directly—

it’s always, indirectly. Like, when the women that I work with gives me dirty looks

and I don’t know why (I think they’ve been reading my blog).

Suddenly, they won’t talk to me.

I didn’t say anything mean to them—

they’ve just labeled me, as dangerous.

I met a woman in the hallway, who I used to talk to in a friendly sort-of-way

I said, “Hi Katherine.”

And she looked at me like I had verbally assaulted her, and walked the other way.

Women want a man they can control (they will never admit to this).

A man is direct.

He wants a woman.

If he does not have a woman—he is not a valuable man in society

Most men don’t learn about the female until it is too late

They get married and discover she’s not a princess and she has problems, just like him

Working through these problems, is seldom successful

because the woman would have to admit that she is wrong

Doing this in front of a marriage therapist (by the way… most marriage therapists are women) is out of the question

and the man decides to give the woman what she wants, to make her happy

but the woman isn’t happy, and she can’t respect a man, who bends the knee to her

She wants a man who can stand up to her disrespect, and be the leader, even though she wants to lead

Truthfully—this truth gives me a headache, just contemplating it.

I listen to the women laugh at work

and it sounds more and more

like the wicked witches of the west

It’s horrifying—

and to think I used to watch re-runs of the Wizard of Oz, just to see the witch

I was fascinated with her, as a boy

She was green

and she had her pet male monkeys that could fly

The feminist isn’t far off

She is a creature of the sky

Do you think she is going to give-up her broomstick?

Do you think she is going to give-up her castle?

I’m still looking for a princess

and I listen to the women laugh, at work

It’s one of the ways,

you can tell.