I know I’m supposed to be stoic
and I try to be
like Stalin smoking his Cuban cigar, without any feelings
but I’m like one of the millions
dying in the forest
We know the masters of power
who don’t blink
who send mixed messages
who tell us whether or not we’re worth it
even when we know
and the fact that we don’t believe it
is evidence, we don’t matter
in the halls
I want to be a cowboy
who can’t be held by fences
because I know
They wonder why they’re not happy
They make the rules
and they don’t love life.
They murder the spirit
before they bury millions.
is my philosophy.
I do it
with my attitude
Not the one, assigned to me
It says, “Let me follow the rules, and watch them fail.
If I act appropriately, I seem absurd.
Fear is gone. Stress, isn’t real.
Money, doesn’t matter.
Why am I here?”
And now, I can answer this question
because situations serve me.
I’m waiting for the angry and the insane
for senseless acts of hell
for, the divine comedy.
I thank the rule-makers, silently
because I get a thrill
from milking their sacred cows
“You’ve been called-in for disciplinary action! You were not where you were supposed to be!”
“I had diarrhea.”
“If you had diarrhea, you should’ve called first.”
“I don’t have a telephone next to my toilet,” I said.
“You are too calm! Failure in the future will be grounds for dismissal.”
“You had an incident like this two years ago!”
“Well—I wouldn’t put it that way, but yes.”
“You don’t deny it?”
Two years ago, I was sick most of the time for fear of losing my job, and then I thought about a homeless life—how I might sleep on the grass, and smoke grass, and watch the sunrise.
Philosophy, changed Me.
Now, I wonder when my boss is going to have a heart attack. She seems tense.
“Thank you for taking this all so well, Andy.”
“Not a problem,” I said. “My goal is to make people like you, happy.”
She looked at me, suspiciously— like a toad staring at an irritating fly.
“Sign on the dotted line.”
“I’m signing because I was here, right? —not because I agree with the rule?”
“The rule is absolute!”
“But it changed last year.”
Her next meeting was a performance review with a new hire.
I suspect she will say, “People really like you.”
And they will check the boxes, nervously.
Now, I take pleasure in life
because I write about it.