I have gotten so old

and yet, I am so young.

At game night,

the subject of my age came up

“How old are you?” One of the guys asked.

“Guess?”

Pretty soon, three guys were guessing…

“23.”

“Not a day over 26.”

“You could be in your late 20s or early 30s.”

“I’m 35,” I said. “The perfect age. I’ve had time to become accomplished

and now I have the gift of eternal youth.”

“What’s your secret?” They asked.

“It can only be appreciated, if you find it for yourself,” I said.

Earlier, in a zoom call, my friend in Florida told me, “We’re going to live forever, man—like Methuselah

you look so young—we have the secret.” And we do. It’s not something marketers will tell you

because they don’t know.

I scanned the different gaming tables

there was a German card game going on

and an enormous crowd playing Mafia

I spotted a table with Jenga. The people there, seemed low-key—my kind of people

They talked about food diets

different strategies, for pushing the blocks

All of the girls in the group wanted to help me—apparently, I look like someone who needs lots of help

I kept forgetting my turn

and despite some of the rough things I said to them, like “I’m glad that I don’t have to bear children,”

or the girl who said, “I’m a block engineer,” and I said, “Or just a blockhead,” they didn’t get angry with me

but they didn’t laugh, either.

The guy sitting next to me, patted me on the back, and said, “We’re out-numbered man.”

It made me realize,

that where I liked to poke and test the female,

she didn’t always like it. But then we got onto the subject of ancestry

and the girl next to me said, “My last name is Mordyke. I work in a school, and my students scream ‘More Dick!'”

Another awkward moment

although, I found it entertaining.

Then I noticed the cute girl, looking in that region, or she could’ve been looking at my paunch

carefully disguised by my sweatshirt.

I wish I could read the female mind—it would make my life a heck of a lot easier

or perhaps, it would give me waking nightmares.

4 thoughts on “Methuselah Goes to Game Night

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