I feel that my mind is going into decline

or, I am becoming wiser.

Let me explain…

Some children have a strong instinct

while others,

give up their true natures in the classroom.

I was in a staff meeting, yesterday

and the vice principal was droning-on

about upcoming state testing. He stopped and cracked a joke

to make sure we would laugh

I laughed, because others were laughing

it was like a staff-infection

Then, he started randomly calling on teachers to paraphrase what he said.

I hoped he wouldn’t call on me, because

I couldn’t remember anything he said.

I would have to say something like…”Testing—I think I heard the word, testing

and everybody would laugh at me.

Strangely,

I don’t care.

My survival is not dependent on approval.

Those he called on, had nearly 100% recall.

“Nice job, Patty, you get a gold star.”

It has been a gradual dawn, a twilight of knowing

that my childhood was taken from me

by robots who seek positive praise. This is what I was talking about, earlier

I can’t remember—

it’s like my brain has stopped functioning—

it doesn’t do, what it’s supposed to—

it comes up with weird philosophies—trying to discover the hidden meaning

behind it all.

Somehow, I make-it

on instinct, or a weird will.

I do whatever I want

I am hard to kill.

And I am more relaxed than ever

especially, because

it pisses off, everybody else.

Nobody gets me, in their stressed state

it’s a place, I don’t want to visit

and they don’t want to visit me

It’s a perfect world.

11 thoughts on “Rebel, With a Cause

  1. ‘Some children have a strong instinct

    while others,

    give up their true natures in the classroom.’

    I fear too many of them do, but it sounds like you’re just the kind of teacher schools need.

    Really enjoyed reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

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