I have this obsession to know
the deepest darkest secrets of my soul
those places, hidden to me.
Philosophy, might uncover them
or obscure, what I don’t know.
I don’t wish for a different fate
only to create
my own.
We are dissected
by other minds
probed
for weaknesses.
I don’t try to turn off my brain
but to understand the gift, someone is giving me
It happens in board meetings
or with family
Subtle messages, said—that mean one thing, while saying another
Women cut each other to shreds
with their words
I am an admirer of this
Not for the pain caused—but for the psychological games played
the wounds, that aren’t real
that need to heal
while I study them
sewing my philosophical stitches to overcome my own pain
This is the great pleasure of my life
I feel
like a masochist
sometimes a sadist
inflicting subtle social messages
to see if I can do it
I’m not that good at it
I am a man, so it doesn’t come naturally
Usually, I just explode
to the hidden delight
of the innocent.
Some women can cut you
so that you don’t even know you are cut
you bleed-out slowly, in private
tortured by your own thoughts
That is the power of suggestion
Implanting ideas in the mind, so you believe they are your own
Women are masters of every subtle art
because they have needed to practice seduction and hypnotism for centuries
to stay alive, to have control.
I don’t blame them for this
Mostly, they’re harmless
It’s the man who learns these skills, who scares me
It’s unnatural,
when it’s mastered, it is subtle social power
the most dangerous kind.
The more I see into my own life
the more I understand my spirit
it causes me to think about the characters I encounter
I am less bothered, now
I step into the wilderness
with my mental map to guide me
If you intend to do something,
focus on that point of light—your creative compass
while the darkness claws at you
Faith, is what you focus on
Not the waves, or their envy—it will draw you down their rabbit holes
which will make you lost.
Even still, I enjoy to get lost
in what I don’t understand
pleasant people
hiding their true natures
underground
where the monsters live.