It always feels better
to save money
or to save time
not to wait in line
and to get green lights.
It doesn’t feel right, like, the universe smiled on me
and frowned on everybody else.
It’s like when you are on vacation, in the middle of the day
and everybody else is doing something monotonous
in those moments, it helps, not to have any empathy
and even better, a psychopathic sensibility
Otherwise, you can’t enjoy your cherished time
the lonely man, who knows his loneliness is a good trade
enjoys a theater movie, while the building is burning
and the patrons are running for the exit,
trampling each other, to survive
But what will they do, after the show?
I’m eating popcorn, now, while the skylights fall, and the curtains catch on fire
Lawrence, doesn’t need to drink water, like a Western man
I feel that way
Let the hordes of humanity come
Let them bring picks and shovels
Let them say, “We are right,” in the name of God or the State or their own personal opinions
I am wrong
a holiday is a holy day, in hell.
Having friends over, is not my style
It’s time to myself
it’s the ability to hide
makes me invincible
neither needed, nor wanted
Totally at peace
a vice, I don’t want to escape from
What would happen if someone was capable of sharing the same space with me?
Probably, what happens to the couple downstairs
She screams, some more
then he can’t take it, anymore, and the door slams
The world is divided into people who scream and those who listen
I don’t hear good conversations
People, are tired of each other
tired of work,
tired of waiting for the weekend,
tired of doing time
They don’t know what to do with themselves
They are waiting to die
waiting to live
waiting to be told what to do
I feel better, when I’m not waiting for anyone or anything
My sense of waste is gone
I had a dream, last night
where my boss told me, “I admire your individualism, but I want my team with me, to receive equal credit.”
I argued with her, and explained myself in my sleep.
It didn’t matter. She still thinks the same.
I’m starting to think, I’m valuable.
I was hanging-out with my friends, yesterday
and they were talking about, being out of place and time
in their careers, and relationships
“I only make 19 dollars an hour, and I’m 30, but if I stay in school, I’ll make more than my age,” she said.
“I have a friend, who has never worked, never gone to college, and never been in a relationship,” I said. “All he does is exist, and he loves his existence.”
They didn’t understand that.