When your strength leaves you
what do you do,
when you are so weak?
What do you do, when you are looking for a miracle
and a miracle doesn’t show up?
You look at the miracle lives of those around you, like stars on Christmas trees
and they look like perfect shining clocks
keeping perfect time.
I don’t know what to do with my time, most of the time
I stay off the internet, because knowledge can’t be understood with a click of a button
but the other day, I looked up, what to do with my time?
and it said, smart people read books, exercise, and volunteer
these all seem like wastes of time, to me
and I do all of them.
Sometimes, you have to lose, to know what’s worth winning
and sometimes, you have to be a coward, to know you can never be a coward again
We are stronger than we think
When I am under pressure, I feel like an oyster, stripped of its shell
a gooey, transparent, spineless, creature, full of testosterone
baking in the sun like a fried egg, with salt washing into my wounds
but I know, it’s not what I feel that matters…
it’s what I am going to do
regardless of protection
like an uncompromising faith
feeling fear, is like an ounce of desperation
rather than pounds of panic
I don’t know what it would be like
to wake up, and realize I had wasted my entire life
I think about that oyster, suffering in the surf
knowing, it can’t quit
trying to survive, for one more day, or one more hour
And what happens when we abandon our will to live?
I have this nervous habit
of pulling-out my hair
I have anti-hair-loss shampoo
but I still pull-out my hair
because it itches
There are many things I do that don’t make sense
If you can make sense of your life
you can belong
to a larger family
that loves you
and the bigger your family
the larger your life will be.