I have always looked at something, and seen something

that wasn’t there

at first, it was disappointing

that my imagination, didn’t materialize

I tried to make things happen

and now, my expectation, has changed

the rotation of the world

is predictable

it doesn’t make me feel better

I’m just an observer—

My colleague enters my office, and screams— “When were you going to tell me!?”

“Look, these papers only came in just yesterday.”

She calms down, and leaves. I’m glad I don’t live with her. She’s been divorced twice.

The girl I like, doesn’t like me.

I’ve asked her out four times in three years.

She keeps avoiding me

avoiding, anything romantic.

I would ask someone else out, but the women I see

smiling at me,

are horrible.

Maybe, the girl I like, thinks the same thing.

My best friend tells me, I could get a “10”

but where are the 10s? The girl I like is only a 7—but she has many other qualities

Maybe, I’ll write The Great Gatsby, like F. Scott Fitzgerald

and my Zelda will go insane

and ruin my career.

Anything, worth doing, is worth doing for love

but most everything, I’ve ever loved

has not loved me back.

“I’m a good guy, right?”

“You’re a great guy!” My friend says.

Before him, I didn’t have any input

I want the world a certain way

but it keeps turning

anyway

like empty promises

like children laughing

on a merry-go-round

when I’m not there.

I won’t ride this ride, if I’m too tall

Maybe nature

will do me in

I don’t care.

5 thoughts on “I won’t ride this ride…

  1. Not being loved back is a heart wrenching thing. I swear, it would be kinder if they’d grab a spoon, scoop it out, then stomp on it for you 💙 I’d rather that then what you’re feeling and going through. Im sorry 😣 my friend my fractured heart 💜 understands you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the empathy Eleanor! She wants to go on a hike when she gets back into the country, so I don’t know if this is playing hard to get or what, but what choice do I have? I’m in love. I like this girl, and most of them, not so much. So, fingers crossed, and I just hope I’m good enough for her this time.

      Like

    1. Yes Rugby, it seems like objectification. I think attraction happens before relationships, and it is usually superficial. Unfortunately, who we decide to get into relationships with, is often based on not fully knowing the other person. It’s an instinct. Nature can be cruel. I wish it wasn’t so. Romance, is in the realm of idealism. It fades quickly, with the first light of reality, and if you find a failed idealist, you will find a cynic. Men and women have difficulty understanding each other, and that makes life more interesting. You probably are right, like most people.

      Liked by 1 person

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