I have spent too much time alone
and this realization
I’m not a philosopher.
I think the world feels comfortable around “perfect people”
and so, I am putting in the work
to become “perfect”
Now, I work out twice a day
and I am fastidious about my appearance
I have made superficial conversations
People are beginning to like me
because I am attractive
I laugh at their jokes, that aren’t funny
like a courtier, with a white wig, entertaining Kings
With white gloves, make-up, and shiny shoes
There is no “me”
Only brand names and money
I’ve never wanted to be popular
until I realized,
I need people.
of being totally self-sufficient
is just that—a fantasy.
Maybe, this boils down to reproduction.
I need to stop embracing my strangeness
and clip my toenails
use anti-hair-loss shampoo
comb my hair
get a regular cell phone
and put a down-payment on a house,
so a woman will come near me.
If I’m lucky,
I will be in the same job for 30 years
and the mortgage will get paid-off
and I will chuckle about the “good old days”
when I was strange
when I had ideas in my head
when I wanted to be “nothing”
so that I could become, Something.
If you walk
where everyone has walked
the journey is so easy.
Nobody climbs mountains anymore
or gets lost, in the wilderness of want
If they do get lost
we never hear about them—
the forgotten few
who are strong enough
to be alone.