I have spent too much time alone

and this realization

may mean

I’m not a philosopher.

I think the world feels comfortable around “perfect people”

and so, I am putting in the work

to become “perfect”

Now, I work out twice a day

and I am fastidious about my appearance

I have made superficial conversations

my artform.

People are beginning to like me

because I am attractive

I laugh at their jokes, that aren’t funny

like a courtier, with a white wig, entertaining Kings

With white gloves, make-up, and shiny shoes

There is no “me”

Only brand names and money

I’ve never wanted to be popular

until I realized,

I need people.

My fantasy

of being totally self-sufficient

is just that—a fantasy.

Maybe, this boils down to reproduction.

I need to stop embracing my strangeness

and clip my toenails

use anti-hair-loss shampoo

comb my hair

get a regular cell phone

and put a down-payment on a house,

so a woman will come near me.

If I’m lucky,

I will be in the same job for 30 years

Security

and the mortgage will get paid-off

and I will chuckle about the “good old days”

when I was strange

when I had ideas in my head

when I wanted to be “nothing”

so that I could become, Something.

If you walk

where everyone has walked

the journey is so easy.

Nobody climbs mountains anymore

or gets lost, in the wilderness of want

If they do get lost

we never hear about them—

the forgotten few

who are strong enough

to be alone.

6 thoughts on “The Forgotten Few

  1. How sad to be liked for being untrue to yourself. Unless “yourself” was unkind, or unkempt, or otherwise unsociable in a negative way. I am alone and have been that way for a long time. I have one good friend, who I talk with once a month or so. Am I lonely? Sometimes. Sometimes extremely lonely. But I know loneliness better than I know people, and it sure beats having to pretend to be shallow all the time, or to engage in mean gossip, or to judge people harshly, or the other things that so many other people seem to do in order to belong to a group. It takes true integrity and self love to be a loner. But at least I am free. 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

  2. To conply, with, what our, external, environment, expects us to, behave like, we put on, these, masks, to, hide who we really are, and, when we have to do that, all the time, because we are, complying, to the beliefs of, what society, wants us to be, we will, lose, who we, really, are.

    Liked by 1 person

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