I have spent too much time alone
and this realization
may mean
I’m not a philosopher.
I think the world feels comfortable around “perfect people”
and so, I am putting in the work
to become “perfect”
Now, I work out twice a day
and I am fastidious about my appearance
I have made superficial conversations
my artform.
People are beginning to like me
because I am attractive
I laugh at their jokes, that aren’t funny
like a courtier, with a white wig, entertaining Kings
With white gloves, make-up, and shiny shoes
There is no “me”
Only brand names and money
I’ve never wanted to be popular
until I realized,
I need people.
My fantasy
of being totally self-sufficient
is just that—a fantasy.
Maybe, this boils down to reproduction.
I need to stop embracing my strangeness
and clip my toenails
use anti-hair-loss shampoo
comb my hair
get a regular cell phone
and put a down-payment on a house,
so a woman will come near me.
If I’m lucky,
I will be in the same job for 30 years
Security
and the mortgage will get paid-off
and I will chuckle about the “good old days”
when I was strange
when I had ideas in my head
when I wanted to be “nothing”
so that I could become, Something.
If you walk
where everyone has walked
the journey is so easy.
Nobody climbs mountains anymore
or gets lost, in the wilderness of want
If they do get lost
we never hear about them—
the forgotten few
who are strong enough
to be alone.
Intellectual Shaman 
✊🏼
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Yes!!! 🙂
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How sad to be liked for being untrue to yourself. Unless “yourself” was unkind, or unkempt, or otherwise unsociable in a negative way. I am alone and have been that way for a long time. I have one good friend, who I talk with once a month or so. Am I lonely? Sometimes. Sometimes extremely lonely. But I know loneliness better than I know people, and it sure beats having to pretend to be shallow all the time, or to engage in mean gossip, or to judge people harshly, or the other things that so many other people seem to do in order to belong to a group. It takes true integrity and self love to be a loner. But at least I am free. 🦋
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I feel you… Girl from Jupiter! Fitting in, has never been my priority, and nothing beats being free. Few people are able to be free. There are so many pressures in this life. Sometimes, we rise above them, unaffected, and other times it is hard to breathe. Thanks for your thoughts. They mean a lot to me.
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To conply, with, what our, external, environment, expects us to, behave like, we put on, these, masks, to, hide who we really are, and, when we have to do that, all the time, because we are, complying, to the beliefs of, what society, wants us to be, we will, lose, who we, really, are.
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Yes, taurus in gemini! To know who you are, and be able to express that every day– that is living! Thanks for reading and your thoughtful comments!
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