I have a friend who bemoans that he isn’t loved. It’s a common problem. And the typical advice, from an all-knowing, all-loved person is, “You have to love other people to get love. Be nicer. Smile. Show yourself to be a friendly person.” But if you do this, the most undesirable, unattractive people are drawn to you.
My friend complained, “Why do I always draw dysfunctional people like water from a well or blank paper.” Actually, those metaphors are my own, but you get the picture. The patronizing advice-giver says, “Like attracts like.” Now, my friend is more depressed.
We are usually aware that people like us or dislike us.
My boss told me, “Being liked isn’t enough.” And she’s right. Apparently, I was trying to be liked so I could be successful—but more likely, she thought I was insecure. So, I worked on myself. Let’s call it professional development. Pretty soon my co-workers were calling me an asshole, and something strange happened—I didn’t care. It didn’t affect how I felt about myself. I knew I had crossed a great divide, into the realm of sociopath (not psychopath, because sociopaths are created by society, hence, socio–psychopaths are born), but, at the same time, I was doing good things for people. I was giving money to the homeless, and I really cared. I saw myself as an outcast. I thought less of myself and more about others. My friends knew I had grown bigger balls, but when I checked, they were still the same size. People respected me, and hated me more.
I quickly became a man who didn’t need a defense, and the attacks multiplied. People are usually nice because they’re afraid of getting attacked. I was ostracized and left in peace. I got a lot more work done, and I was able to think. Nobody talked to me, but everyone talked about me. I had developed a bad reputation, or let’s just say, someone had developed it for me. You could call it a social suicide, but at no other time in my life did I feel more alive.
Intellectual Shaman 
A little A-holeness to honor yourself XD ❤ ❤
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I like the sound of that! Thanks for reading and commenting Rafia! 🙂
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Like attract like is making me depressed always. The more I try, the more I cannot get rid of it.
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It’s difficult to escape our own realities. Thanks for reading and commenting Madhavi!!!
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We never can!! Trying for it is like a curse
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I still hold-out an insane hope.
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Me too LOL
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We can do it by not trying, as i’ve heard
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As Yoda said, “There is no try.”
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At some point in life we decide to not rely so much on what other people believe of us. Give what you can give, love who can can love, and don’t expect anything less back.
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Yes! That is so true! Thanks for reading and commenting steve! 🙂
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It’s dangerous to put other’s love before principle. It’s dangerous to need love. Far better to be true to yourselves, in honesty (Not the politically correct form of being true, which is a lie.), and others love you for that, even if you never know it. Love is not love if it’s pined after.
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Very wise words dolphinwrite!!! Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂
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Easier said than to practice, but with time, can’t see any other way. 🙂
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🙂
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