Most of the thoughts in my head

are delusions

but they drive my behavior

just the same.

I’m not unlike most people.

My delusions make me feel good

and most people do

what feels good.

If you don’t feel good

for too many days in a row

why wake up?

I have this gnawing acid in my stomach

and I sleep on a mattress

with a broken spring

poking through.

I guess I’m hesitant to change

I can put up with a bad thing

for a long time

but when I decide

I can no longer sleep

I can no longer go to the job

something beautiful happens…

like a force

outside myself

I don’t.

The best feeling in my life

is when I walk away

it is like a great weight has lifted.

Society shames men who walk away

but they do it

just the same.

I have resisted

all the messaging

that says, I should keep doing

what I don’t want to do.

I strictly listen to myself

and the months after that

are perfect.

They always are…

When you leave things behind

there is this wonderful sense

you get

like being reborn.

The more times you do it

the more alive

you will be

like a caterpillar

turning into a butterfly

constantly.

I have this delusion

that seems true

It’s a question

I frequently ask myself

“What makes me superior to the whole thing?”

Most people say, “That’s an anti-social question.

People are different, not superior.”

But the question makes me feel good, just the same

I start asking myself, “What makes me different?”

“What can I do, that has never been done before?”

And the question excites me

I think about the common things in my life

and the power I have

to walk away.

Walking away from something good

is a better feeling

than walking away from something bad.

The reason being, if you can’t walk away from something good

there are things you can’t walk away from

you are trapped

predictable

Somebody has found your leverage-point

they think they understand you

because they can control you.

If you don’t argue

you have incredible power

If you don’t play the game

it’s a victory.

People will call you a loser

They will think they won

But if you walk away

those people

are outside

your consciousness.

Your life doesn’t belong to them

and it never did.