little insights

little beliefs

turn into big decisions

you may not see them now

but they are there

cutting off

all other possibilities

freedom

of the highest order

there are those who would say

you just joined a movement

and there are those who would say

having options is freedom

and there are those who would say

it is important to talk to people

and not to self-isolate

but all these decisions are made

from well-thought-out reasons

and they carry risk

like, if you leave your job

or you stop talking to your social network

or you decide what you want

I guess it doesn’t make you a well-balanced person

but it does make you balanced

and ballsey

because…

How many people live from their balls?

I was told the other day

at the library

that I was the nicest person they had ever met

It was a genuine complement

and I was told the other day

at work

how great I was

and I wanted to puke

because the same person told me I was replaceable

last year

everything they say

is to get what they want

they are the lowest

of the low

I could tell them what I think

but it wouldn’t do them any good

or me any good

The lady at the library asked me

“Why are you so nice?”

And I told her, “I’m not that nice.”

The reason being, I resent more than half of the human race

and want to get away from them.

And she said, “I don’t believe you; you are always nice; why?”

And I told her, “I spend most of my day by myself, and maybe that’s why.”

And she laughed, and thought, I was joking

but I wasn’t

and it’s true

the longer I spend with myself

the better I feel

you see, I like myself

and I like my own company

I didn’t tell her this

I wasn’t looking for a conversation

but she said, “You like yourself; that’s why you are nice.”

And perhaps, she’s right.