I’m helping some students I used to have
with their reading
they have emotional disabilities
and get frustrated easily
the two boys are students of color
Jamal and Dondre
I inadvertently switch their names
they call me a racist
because I mixed up their names
Then I enter a conference
where my boss sits down
it comes-out in a crowd of social justice warriors
that I mixed up these students’ names
they ALL call me a racist
I justify how it happened
and they ALL call it implicit bias and they want to sue me
My boss tells me to shut up
as I dig my hole deeper
then I walk outside of the conference on a sunny day and sit down
A young school psychologist who is a single mother sits down at my table
She asks me about the conference and I don’t say much
She points to an opera sign on the building
“You should take me there,” (to a name I can’t pronounce).
Then she sits down next to me
and puts her arm around me
and asks me how we will get there and do I have Messenger on my phone
“Just texting,” I say
It doesn’t bother her, and she shows me her phone
with some opera information
then the sun goes into a shadow and she moves to a bench in the sun
a walk over to the bench and sit down
she puts her arm around me
and kisses my hands, a very wet kiss
Somehow, I know what is happening, but I can’t stop it
I suspect she is seducing me for the financial support
I look like an easy mark because I dress like I don’t have a clue
and I act in the same way
Then I start thinking… How can I let this girl down easily
so she won’t press charges
I might tell her that I stopped dating in 2018,
but no… she would think I was crazy
I could tell her I don’t date anyone at work
but she already put the moves on me
and it’s kinda like a date
I could tell her, “You’re a great girl and all, but I’m not interested.”
“You’re gay,” she would say
It’s a lose…lose…lose situation
and all I can think about is how to maintain my freedom
the only way to remain free, is to be away from other people
as soon as you start talking to the female, you have to adjust everything you say
so you aren’t offensive
and she can feel good about herself
then she wants you to dress differently
and do things differently
and pretty soon you are her hand puppet
I woke up with a cold sweat
and who can blame me for writing these words or having these ideas
they came from my subconscious
and I suspect there is wisdom there
I’m drinking coffee and writing this poem
feeling pretty good
Marveling at the romantic dream
I had
better than any movie
I’ve seen
in a long time.
No one, man or woman, should have to change for the other person
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Yes… I agree rugby. What a strange and vivid dream. It was like it happened with incredible sensations. It was positive, even though it had serious thematic elements!
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