“I heard about this guy who couldn’t get to sleep and was always late to work because he kept sleeping in, so he decided to get himself a hyper sleep station. He set the time for 12 hours, and programmed his dreams. Each day, he woke up happy because he had been lying on a beach with a beautiful babe and getting laid. He became so addicted to his machine, that three-day weekends and holidays were spent sleeping. If he needed to lose weight, he wouldn’t hook up the feeding tubes, and he could lose 15 pounds, no problem. Pretty soon, the idea occurred to him that he enjoyed sleeping so much, why even wake up? People are rude; they don’t do what you want them to do; and getting laid, well that’s easy, but it’s even easier to get an STD. Problem was, he couldn’t afford to sleep. Someone had to pay the power bill, and the stomach-food-packets were expensive. He was a school teacher, so on summer break he rigged his machine so that he might go under for 90 days. Problem was, he punched an extra zero on accident. Three years later, they found him. When he came out of his coma, he couldn’t handle reality. Spending three years on a beach, and then being forced to teach pre-hormonal children will cause anyone to have a psychotic break.”

“That’s some story,” Brandon said. “Is it true?”

“No, but you get the point. Set your hyper sleep station correctly.”


“That won’t be a problem,” Will said.

“Why not?” Jordan asked.

“Do think Captain Crewcut is going to let us sleep in? It’ll be reveille at 0900. Just be sure to set your dreams right. What are the options?”

“Babe on a beach, that’s a popular one. Counting money, you just won the lottery, that’s a favorite. And Ace of Space, you are the commander of a warship.”

“Babe on a beach, that’s the one for me.”

“Ai ai. Me too.”

“Me three.”

“Getting laid for 6 months. I’ll be ruined for women.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have three years to recover.”

“Are my space cadets tucked in?” Captain Crewcut asked. That wasn’t his real name; his real one was Swafford, Captain Swafford, but it’s characteristic of menial types not to respect authority.

“When I press this button, you’ll all go under. Sweet dreams,” he laughed. I didn’t like how he said that, and for the next six months I was dreaming that I showed up to school without my pants on. Talk about embarrassing.

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