Did something change?
it seems so much easier than it used to be
the blocks just aren’t there
though, the pressure has increased
bloody nose
in the shower
this morning
christened by my own purpose
reading the writers on the internet
who talk of never making it
comparing their artistic failures
to their failures with women
has me smiling…
One day, she might say yes
One day, the editor will accept your story
I used to think this way
but it stopped, gradually
over years of rejection and failure
now, I just keep going
and the old motivations have fallen away
I’m not nature’s slave
Sometimes, women test me, mercilessly
it’s bordering on torture
and they think I should be happy
to spend time in their company
but I don’t like to be tested
they don’t sense insecurity
it’s something else
and I’ve been staying away
living on the things that keep me alive
conjuring my own air
creating my own pleasure
fellowshipping with myself
and the desire for others
is simply not there
though, I know I will change
I will do, what none believed
limitations have lifted
consequences aren’t real
I have my entire life
it’s not on loan, anymore
it needs to be done
there is no outcome
there is no reward
I laugh at people who are afraid
to do it
they complicate their lives
because of what they believe
there are no limitations
only people who set limits
persistence
is my reward.