There is a natural bubbling up
as we are forced into tight places
I had this feeling just about everywhere I went
It was like people wanted to know
where I fit
Usually, within minutes of meeting them
they would know
Sometimes, it was a compliment
like, “You remind me of Matt Damon.”
and at other times
I became everything they hated
a bad employee
or a conglomeration of crappy experiences
When that happened
they could never talk to me
a tension lingered
they wanted my total submission
and I could never give them that.
Day after Day
Year after Year
their opinions of me
repeated, like a record
in their narrow domain of reality
and there was no escape from it
People believed them
and my life in their proximity
became even worse
It was like I had two lives
one where I felt really good
and the other one
It was worse
when they paid me compliments
during formal ceremonies of politeness
and they pretended to like things about me
but afterwards
there was nothing
It was like they had the facts
but they didn’t want to see them
this building up has always been an eruption of natural action
and the first time I felt this release
a feeling of total peace
washed over me
I left their reality
for good
and it had no hold over me
things they said
were only words
and I laughed at their rules
Who did they think they were?
I didn’t want to challenge their authority
I didn’t even want to recognize it
Most rules are unnecessary
constricting
how we think
and what we do
It seems
we can’t escape them
but that’s just not true.