What I find most striking about people is that we can look at something seemingly objective and see something completely different. It is the curse and blessing of the human race.
If a man spends enough time in thought, his mind is refined, like wine. Maybe that is the source of freedom—being able to see what you want. Maybe it’s not true. Maybe I don’t have people figured out. Maybe they are not as simple as I see them. Maybe I am the one who is petty or envious. It was explained to me yesterday that nobody thinks they are a racist. So, you can’t know yourself and you can’t know other people. You are a goldfish swimming in water and you don’t know you are a goldfish and you take the water for granted. You don’t even know what the liquid is.
People cast judgements from their frame of reference. The only solution is to become the outlaw, pirate of the roadways, man of means with no means.
There are different forces pulling and pushing a person. Philosophy is the means by which a man disconnects the force fields and moves at his own leisure. It is true; perhaps my words only carry significance for myself. My experience of people is that you can value something above everything, want to pass it on, and be shocked that nobody else wants it. You might be sharing your innermost ideas and think somebody finds them fascinating, but you find out that what they really want is to be listened to.
Maybe one of the rewards of death is not being around at the funeral when people stand up and talk about you. Being misunderstood in life is worse enough.
When I was 12, I had a best friend. Sometimes I think he was my best friend because my mom was best friends with his mom. But my mom didn’t feel valued by his mom and I didn’t feel valued by him. This became clearer, the older I got. Like when his mother gave him money for Dr. Pepper. We got a 12 pack. He gave me 2 cans and kept the rest. “The rest are mine,” he said. That happened 21 years ago. A defining moment. I reconnected with him 3 years ago. “What have you been up to the last 15 years?” He asked. I told him. Then he told me about having season tickets to the Seahawks, going to Las Vegas with his friends, being engaged to a blonde, and he asked me…
“What do you have?”
“I didn’t really say anything. He was better than me. But I might have said…
“Nothing, and the emptiness is beautiful.”