I was cleaning up at the end of the work day.
“How’s it goin?” The janitor asked.
“Not bad, and yourself?”
“I can’t complain.”
He had a goatee, a pot belly, and intelligent eyes.
He was interesting. I don’t know why janitors are interesting.
Maybe they have nothing to hide. They seem real.
Professional people are pretending. They all act the same.
At the end of the work day
I play the piano
and the janitor makes his rounds.
“Are you putting on a concert, Liberace?”
“Yeah, for myself. Are you avoiding the sickness going around? You wear gloves I hope.”
“Oh, sure. This place has more bacteria than a toilet seat. I wash my hands with hydrogen peroxide. I drink it and floss with it. My dentist told me I had periodontal disease and the peroxide cured it.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, dentists don’t tell you this stuff.”
“I’ll try it.”
“You can thicken your enamel too if you gargle with the right chemicals. My teeth got scraped in a fight a while back, so I had to fix them. I fought in a Buddhist temple.”
“Yeah, I can’t show you any martial arts moves because if I did, I would kill you. I used to get in fights a lot, but Kung Fu taught me control. It also extended my life.”
“I learned how to breath. Most guys think I’m in my 40s. Just guess how old I am?”
No, I’m 64. I lift weights with my old man. He’s 95 and he doesn’t even know how to breathe right. We have good genes and we don’t trust doctors or dentists. Trust me, check out the health food store. If you drink garlic mixed with rice wine, you can live forever.”
“Thanks for the tip,” I said.
“Don’t mention it Chief.”
And he changed the trash cans and pushed his cart out of the choir room.