People need to know they are not alone; what a foolish sentiment. Only originals embrace their loneliness. -Intellectual Shaman
I walked out of the water, naked, baptized in the moonlight. She was gone and I was left to collect my impulses. My lust for life made it all seem worthwhile, haunted by the memory of her body and dangerous laughter, but my armor was violated, my mind bypassed, and all ideas rendered worthless. Nature laughs at reason.
It was past midnight and I had to lecture in the morning. Whenever I taught my class tired, I always rambled into dangerous territory. I was honest, which made for lively discussion, but got me in trouble with the dean.
I hit my pillow at 2 AM, falling asleep to Chopin on an old record player. I dreamed the music stopped, my life had stopped, someone had to change the record, and I woke to a scratching needle playing empty noise. I had 15 minutes to make it to class; luckily, I slept in my clothes.
Nobody was awake at 7 AM and my students trickled in with tired eyes. I kept drinking coffee from the pot I installed last semester for mornings such as these. It was strong and bitter, the best elixir for reason.
“Most of you are searching for something you can’t identify; your parents told you what it is, but you don’t believe them. Some will find religion and others will fall in love; your life will be caught up with responsibility. You might ask, “Why?” on a lonely road, but you’ll be too busy to listen for the answer.”
Nobody was listening; it would take at least one more hour. My 7 AM class was my favorite; no interruptions. I could say anything and it was like talking to myself where the best conversations happened.