Dr. Johnson was thinking so hard it appeared as if his thoughts were jumping out of his skull. “You’ve decided what you want to move away from, but have you considered what you are moving towards?”
“What do you mean?” Dr. Marsh asked.
“Presumably, you are willing to fake your own death to prolong your life, but this will require you to never contact your kids again. Your wife is a liability and most likely, you can’t save her. Are you willing to abandon all of your relationships and the things you love to live for a few more years?”
Dr. Marsh thought about Johnson’s words.
“You may have to be unethical, which means you will also have to abandon your morality and principles. You are giving up your psychological identity to live. This creates an existential vacuum, almost as if you’ve had amnesia, but the downside is, you remember everything.”
“Now that you put it that way, I’m not sure I can do this.”
“If honor is what you’re after, we can fake an honorable death. But I think the real question you must ask is the very idea most people neglect, ‘What do I do with my time?’ You can no longer live to gain the attention of others. You can no longer seek social status or prestige. You are past the age of starting a family and you will die alone. So, what will you have to live for?”
Dr. Marsh looked sick. “I must face my death then. So, what do I do?”
“I would suggest buying the largest arsenal you can afford and staying on your toes every second of every day. The mob will get you when you least expect it. So, consider each day to be your last.”
“This has significant philosophical underpinnings. I could keep a journal of staying alive!”
“You’ve been wanting to write a masterwork in retirement!”